| 005; they say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet |
[March 4 @ 10:06pm] |
I don't feel very well and I'm drowning in ink and parchment. If you see an ink stained arm sticking out from under a pile of miscellaneous school nonsense, that'll be me. Prepare funeral arrangements, but please, please, please have a heart and don't dig me out.
Honestly, I just don't have the mind for this right now. I need a break.
[Warded: Private]
It's been a week. I just want to crawl in a hole and die And I bloody hate school. I can't wrap my mind around it like this. I just don't care about any of this shite anymore. I really don't.
I hope nothing's wrong. I just want to go home and see him and make everything okay.
[/private]
I miss home. Is it spring yet?
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| 004; I'm a new soul living in this strange world. |
[February 17 @ 11:01pm] |
The Fall Ball should be fun! I can wear one of two things and I'll wear whatever I don't wear this time around to the next ball. Help me out! Which one?
[Private to Self]
Darren said he wouldn't mind if I had a date to the ball, but I'd just prefer to skip that mess entirely. In fact, I might like to skip the whole ball entirely. Who knows if it'll even be fun, with all this drama flying around? My conversation with Lena was hardly promising.
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| 003; I don't think you're ever one hundred percent in the room. |
[February 13 @ 1:50am] |
[Warded to Lena]
Hi, Lena. I was wondering if you were alright? You seem to be awful confrontational and I'm sure there's got to be a reason for it. Why are you telling my brother that you hate him over journals? Why do you want to steal Stephen from Madison? It's just that you seem so nice sometimes and then things like this happen and I'm just not sure what to think. You're more than welcome to your own opinions, but why are you looking to start problems? There's a lot going on this year with classes and quidditch, as you know, and I think that you might agree with me when I say that it's probably enough to deal with without these other unnecessary issues.
So, are you alright? Is something going on that makes you lash out or something to that effect?
[Warded to Stephen]
What's going on with this Lena business? Madi is really upset.
[Warded to Self]
Merlin. I don't get it. I guess I'm just grateful that I'm not exactly in your typical school-age relationship. I love Stephen and Madi both to bits but I'm not sure exactly how hard Stephen would be able to resist another girl throwing herself at him. Not that I'd ever say as much to Madi, of course. And why does Lena hate Garrett? That's pretty much out of nowhere, as far as I'm aware. Maybe something really is wrong with her. Something at home? Hm.
I didn't get anything from Darren today, but it's alright. I know he's busy. Still, I hope there'll be something tomorrow. His letters always kick my days off to great starts. I really love him and I'm honestly so glad that I don't have to worry about him straying off someplace. I wouldn't worry even if Lena was throwing herself at Darren. He's extremely trustworthy.
Not that Stephen isn't, of course. I just mean to say that there's a difference between boy hormones and man hormones. I suppose the man ones are easier to control.
[/Wards]
I really need to stop biting my nails. It's a nasty habit and hangnails bloody hurt.
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| 002; she's just like a maze where all of the walls continually change |
[February 10 @ 9:03pm] |
Today has been a really, really great day. The food was amazing, the weather was gorgeous, the people were friendly -- what's there to complain about? Well, I'm sure the lot of you can think of some things, but I think we could all benefit from taking a big step back and taking a good, long look at the things we have to be grateful for. Having a great day like today just reminds me of the things that I take for granted every day. Not everyone can say that they have a brother family and a bunch of friends as great as the ones that I have, you know?
It's good to remember that once in a while.
[Warded to Self]
Darren sent me the most adorable owl this morning! Merlin, he really is the greatest! I had no idea that it was even possible for a man to be half this sweet. You know what the hardest part of this is? Keeping it to myself. I swear that I might explode if I can't find just ONE person to tell about him! He says I can't risk it and I know he's right, but there has got to be just one person that it's okay for me to talk to! I'm just so excited, you know? Now that he's finally more open to this idea of marriage it's just so hard to not want to leave school immediately and start the rest of my life.
I'll never understand what he sees in me. Honestly, I'm so afraid that he'll wonder the same exact thing someday. What I need to do is get out of school and marry him so that I can show him every day just how much this means to me. That would be perfect. Maybe he'll be ready soon. I hope so.
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| playlist |
[February 7 @ 9:55pm] |
Eager to please, trying to be what they need,
but I'm so very tired.
I've stopped trying to find any peace in my mind
because it tangles the wires ( ... )
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| 001; they say the world is round |
[February 4 @ 11:41am] |
Potions, Herbology, Charms, Ancient Runes, and Astronomy. It should be a fun year! Hogsmeade is coming up, too. I'm really excited for it! Who all has classes with me?!
Quidditch is going to be incredible this year. I can't wait for it start up!
[Warded to Self]
Darren finally wrote back! He said he might be able to get out of work long enough to meet me for dinner at Hogsmeade. How sweet is that?! His work has been so demanding lately. I feel bad for him, you know? He barely has time to sleep, let alone write! Reading my letters probably makes him feel better so I've been writing as much as I can. Honestly, I just can't wait for this year to be over with. I miss the summer already. I'm really hoping that I might not even have to finish this school year. Maybe he'll ask me to marry him. Merlin, that would be the greatest.
Actually, I'm not sure I'd want to miss this year. Garrett is captain of the Slytherin quidditch team, after all! I really hope they win the cup. I'm sure they will. With Garrett calling the shots, I can't even imagine how they couldn't win.
[Warded to Garrett]
Has Dad sent funds for Hogsmeade yet?
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[December 8 @ 6:10am] |
Good luck to everyone trying out for the quidditch teams and to everyone getting ready to ask someone else to the Fall Ball! I won't be trying out for a team and I've already got a few dates (hopefully more to come), and so I haven't really got either of those things to worry about. Why aren't I trying out for a team? Because my brother has taken every ounce of athletic ability left in the family bloodline for himself and he's doing spectacularly with it. Who are my Fall Ball dates and why? My Fall Ball dates are Lindsay Cornfoot, Bella Creevey, and Melody Carpenter! We've decided that there is much fun to be had with one another rather than on one singular date. Anyone else who wants to is encouraged to join us!
Who's going with who, anyway?
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[December 6 @ 1:06am] |
Wow. As a sixth year, I only have one more train ride to Hogwarts to look forward to. To be honest, I can hardly wrap my mind around the idea. The first week of school hasn't been bad - in fact, it's gone by so fast that I can't even believe that it's already BEEN a week! I'd really like to join a club or two this year, just to get myself out of the box. I think that one of you should join something with me! It's so much more fun to do something new when it's new to someone else, too. I'd just like to keep busy. And, as Laura said, clubs look good to future employers.
The Fall Ball should be a lot of fun, too. I love dancing!
Private:
He said he'd owl me every day but he's only responded to two owls that I sent him. And they were brief responses. He's probably just busy. I don't know. I'm overreacting. Darren is just busy. Brief responses, yes, but he said that he loves me. And again, the words were few, but they didn't seem bad or anything. It's fine.
Merlin, it's only the first week of school. I hope I don't feel like this the entire time that I'm away. This is horrible!
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